It's all about living

I'm sitting at my parents computer finishing my luke warm coffee and listening to my little boy's tender heart spill out in emotion in a way that is only "acceptable" for a two year old to express. During his melt down, I feel the same way that he does. His words ring in my ears, "But I thought they're not leaving! I thought they're not going home!" My brother Bradley and his wife just pulled away in a car headed to the airport. Matthew got married on Saturday. We hugged him and his new beautiful bride goodbye yesterday. The last of the family is leaving tomorrow. It's been bittersweet. The taste is still in my mouth but my heart hurts right now. I just miss our yesterdays. That's life, though. Savoring every moment isn't something that I knew how to do when I was a kid. I remember what it was like to be chased around the front yard by my brother Bradley with stink bugs in his hands. I used to sing Matthew to sleep before I went out on dates in high school. Dinner was always fun because there never failed to be a funny story that left everyone out of breath from laughter. I remember having to make sure I didn't have food in my mouth when dad told a story. . .with Bradley, there was always something unexpected that he would say. I was always the gullable one that believed everything anyone said. Let me tell you something. . .it's not because I'm stupid. It's because of trust. Trust and love is what glues our family together and I feel lucky to have the memories that I do. Even the bad ones. I didn't know what savoring those moments meant, then. I do now.

I've been sleeping at my parents with the kids every night that everyone has been here. It felt like home. One morning I just layed in bed with my eyes open. The hazy, soft morning light peeping in the window and the smell of sausage cooking with a hint of coffee was like a cuddly blanket around me. All day long the hum of people noise constantly overtook the quiet of every room. The sweet southern accents of my Aunt and my Papa surrounded me with a feeling of calm amidst the stressful rushing around before going anywhere. In fact, stress was almost fun. This time around, though, it's me that has the bundles of shtuff that has to go with us everywhere "or so help me!" My daughter took so well to my Aunt Iris, that I almost don't know what I'm going to do without her! Caylee is going to have withdrawals.

We were all together to see my baby brother get married. We didn't get to see him much. He just got back from Iraq and is living two states away, now. He was engaged the whole time he was over there. So, his agenda was to marry his stunning beauty and ride her off into the sunset. Mine was to drink up every moment I could with my family. . .I wish I could have seen him more, though. I feel like I didn't get enough time with my brothers. Everything is different now. We all have our separate lives and priorities. It's so strange to know that both of my "little" brothers are married and we all live in different states with our spouses. Yes, I cried at the wedding. I have the memory of his expression burned into my mind of when he first saw his bride on thier wedding day. He is absolutely in love with his wife.

The reception was a party to remember! I had Caylee strapped to me most of the night even as I sang Unchained Melody for Matt and Ashley to dance to. She was my dance partner and she slept most of the time! Joshua started the reception with his very full diaper at his ankles (underneath his clothes) and ended the night naked, peeing in front of the Officers Club. It was Classic. From the time Joshua found the dance floor, he decided to own it! I saw him take a little girls hand and spin himself underneath it! Adorable! Of course her arm was so tweaked around that she ran away from him after he did it. One of the most priceless moments of the night was when the dance floor suddenly went quiet and it felt like time stood still for a second. I turned around to see something that took my breath from me in surprise. My son was glowing. He had green glowy stuff dripping like slime from his mouth. It was all over his cute little suit that he wore as the ring bearer and the glowy stuff was splattered on the floor. It look like an alien from a horror movie had french kissed him! He had bitten into a glow stick. Thank God they are non-toxic. The "boys" including my handsome husband and my daddy were all outside smoking cigars while the ladies danced crazy on the dance floor. My 81 year old Papa even danced. . .fast!!! I also got a slow dance with him. I asked him if he was enjoying his vacation. I don't talk to him much and so I think I was a little bit nervous searching for words. I said, "I love vacation! It's all about good food for me!" We're always eating at my house! There's always conversation around the breakfast lunch and dinner table that floods my memory with happiness. That's what I was referring to. Then, I looked into his eyes as we were slow dancing and he said to me with a sweet, wise voice, and a nod of the head "It's all about living."